The Therapy Booth

resting, doodling and holding love signs

What Feels Good to You Right Now?

pause

What feels good right now?

I had lots of thoughts of what I could do — busy work type stuff that I haven’t had a chance to get to. Marketing some classes, promoting some others. Moving to another location sometime today. Strategizing. Seems like there are things to think about, manipulate, have a hand in, such that life will occur as safe and supportive.

Sometimes the push toward this comes from a sense of fear. And sometimes that sense is super subtle, perhaps because it’s so familiar it isn’t noticed. Like when the fan’s been running and it suddenly shuts off, there’s an awareness of the absence of that sound, when the sound hadn’t been in my consciousness before.

Hindsightedly, the sneaky sense of I-have-to-manage-this becomes apparent. Nice also to catch it in action, when that happens, and pause then, too. Check in: what feels good?

A moment ago, I paused and asked myself, “What sounds fun? What are you inspired by? And how would you like to share it?”

I saw quickly that I want to share an on-line doodle class (cuz my doodle classes are always of massive benefit to me, as well as to the other participants, so it’s a super win all-around), and I saw something about how I was feeling to charge for it.

I was somewhat scrambling to get a new course up because I was thinking that I need to get some money in — and soon. I had that sense that I had to manage this, but I wasn’t really aware of that. I felt some strain, and I was trying to relieve it by spinning my wheels and something wasn’t feeling quite right. When I paused to feel into what I would get into now, I saw that I’m much more interested in sharing from the heart because this stuff lights me up and because I know it’s a benefit to those who participate. And I didn’t feel to be hung up on making sure a certain amount of money comes in. Right this minute, that even feels irrelevant.

I’ve been more and more inspired to move away from a tit-for-tat mentality. It just doesn’t make sense to me anymore. There’s something about keeping score and making even trades that has seemed inefficient and contrived. TheFreeDictionary.com defines contrived as not spontaneous or natural, and that makes a lot of sense to me. Don’t get me wrong: I am not eschewing the giving or receiving of money or other objects and opportunities in trade. I love to receive money, and I love to give it. I am also happy to be able to receive some services that I might not have the cash to pay for because I do have other valuable skills that are worthy of a trade. But if we’re always trying to match up dollar for dollar, hour for hour, where is the freedom in that? Where are we inspired in heart to give?

If you’d like to learn about someone who is very conscientiously and intentionally living this way, check out my friend Michael Skye’s Indegogo Campaign,
VISIONARY HEART: Bringing Down My Walls, Standing For My People.

What drives my doodle class inspiration is my desire to share what I know and love. I’ll get into the joys of doodling in its own post, but, for now, I’ll say that I know that turning toward my passions is what feels right. Not scrambling to figure out how I’ll get paid next. Seeing how my body relaxed with that shift gave me even more pause. So much so that I came here to write about it a bit.

Nice also to see that I do come to write on this blog, eventually. I have the occasional thought that I should be writing or posting something here more often. Add that to my list of things-I-believe-I-have-to-manage. It’s welcome to hang out there, but, ultimately, the writing — and the pausing — come when they do.

If you take a pause right now, what feels good to you?

P.S. Here’s the link to the Doodle Gathering Invite!

resting

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